The Merlin Dialect is spoken by a mixed population which inhabits a triangular area on the western littoral of the Chesapeake Bay, bounded roughly by a line commencing at Towson's Toyota, then westward to Frederick Mall, thence following the western border of the cable TV franchise and the string of McDonalds along Route 50 to the Bay. All of these lands and the natives thereof are known as the Land of Merlin. They divide it further into semi-tribal areas called Cannies (e.g., Ballmer Canny, PeeJee Canny, Hard Canny, etc.). The dialect area is centered on a market center called Glimburny, where the people come on weekends to trade their goods.
Because of the numerous words and phrases common to both Merlin Dialect and modern English, linguists have long postulated that there is some kinship between the two.
The dispute in academic circles at the present time is whether Merlin dialect actually derives from English, or whether both are descended from some common ancestor, possible spoken on the Island of Atlantis.
Speakers of Merlin Dialect are all able to understand standard English from babyhood, chiefly because of the their voracious appetite for television. However, they invariably, and absolutely, refuse to speak standard English, even with outsiders who obviously are not understanding a word they are saying.
Lesson 1. Pronunciation Drill. Listen and Repeat:
Merlin: Ah herd sarns at sod the hass a bat hunnert toms lass not. Itsem Earl Canny farn gins.
Standard: I heard sirens outside the house about a hundred times last night. It's those Anne Arundel County fire engines.
Merlin: She raider boskle from Droodle Pork to dantan Ballmer wither oz clazed.
Standard: She rode her bicycle from Druid Hill Park to downtown Baltimore with her eyes closed.
Merlin: The Hard Canny Toms sayz the canny cancel pace pained bon ambalances.
Standard: The Howard County Times says the County Council postponed buying ambulances.
Merlin: Pitcher bane seat owen. Weer goon danny ayshun.
Standard: Put your bathing suit on. We're going down to the ocean.
Merlin: Ah sawn ambalance good dan Rosters Tan Raid a bat a huunert molls air, nit was porn dan rain.
Standard: I saw an ambulance going down Reisterstown Road about a hundred miles an hour, and it was pouring down rain.
Merlin: It spaced a snaid mora. Better pitcher snay tars owen. Ah got me somefar stain snay tars at the Tee Goz bay the Glimburny bopass.
Standard: It's supposed to snow tomorrow. Better put your snow tires on. I got some Firestone snow tires at the Two Guys by the Glen Burnie bypass.
Baldamer - How to truly pronounce our city (or Balmer) Balmorese - What we're speaking Merlin - Our State Arn - What you do to wrinkled clothes Balled Ham - Boiled ham Beero - Bureau (as in FBI) Bulled Egg - An egg cooked in water Chest Peak - A large nearby body of water Chimley - Where Santa comes down Colleyflare - A white vegetable Downey Owe Shin - Summertime destination (such as Ayshun City) Droodle Pork - Druid Hill Park Elfin - Large pachyderm at zoo Faren Gins - Red trucks that put out fires Hi Hon - How we always say 'hello' Holluntown - Highland Town Nap Lis - State of Merlin capital Ole Bay - What our crabs taste like Oreos - Not a cookie, but our baseball team Payment - That strip of cement that you walk PohLeese - Those guys in uniform that git ya when you're speeding Poison Ivory - Plant that gives you itchy skin Share - Hot water that cleans you in the morning Flares - such as tulips Star Phone - Styrofoam Tarred - What happens when you work too hard Telly Phone - What we use to call people Warsh - What we do with dirty clothes Warter - What we drink (can also be Wooter) Winders - Those glass things that we look out of Paramore - Power mower Tarnado - Tornado Hairacane - Hurricane Excape - Escape Pixture - Picture Brawl - Broil Stahl - Style Samridge - Sandwich Sem elem - Seven Eleven Allanic - an ocean Architexture - building styles Arlin - Ireland Arn - what you do on an arnin board Arnsjoos - from the sunshine tree Arouwn in all directions - norf, souf, ees, and wess Arsh - people from Arlin Aspern - what you take for headaches Awl - goes into the crankcase in your caw Bald - some people like their eggs this way Bawler - what the plumber calls your furnace Beeno - a famous railroad Bleef - what you bleev in, your faith Calf Lick - bleevers are Protestant, Jewish, Canny - a state gubmit dibision, such as Anna Rundel or Prince George's Cammer - used for taking photographs Cole Race Beef - a favorite sammich; you could have Hot Race Beef with Gravy Dint - did not Dolltone - what you hear when you pick up the telly phome Downey Ayshen - where everyone goes in the summer (to places such as Ayshen City) Drooslem - city in the Holy Lan Duddeney - yes, he does, duddeney? Err - a time measurement of 60 minutes Far place - requires wood Farrid - area between the eyes and the hairline Farmin - the people who fight fars Forrd - opposite of backerd Granite - something you don't want to be taken for Gubmit - government Gubner - governor Har and Far - what the boss does Hollantayon - Highlandtown Idnit - it is, idnit? Ignernt - ignorant Klumya - Rouse's new city (Columbia) Lobble - responsible for Meer - what you look at in the morning Merlin - the Free State Mirra - another word for meer" Munlaw - married to your fodlaw Norf Abnew - North Avenue Numb - a conjunctive 1st person pronoun: "Aw've bin workin six errors numb tarred." Phane - what you answer when it rings Pleece - the people who uphold the law Plooshin - let's get it out of the Chespeak Sarn - what a pleece car or Farn Gin makes noise with Slong - "good-bye" Snoo Few? - "what's new with you?" Sore - drainage under the street Spearmint - experiment Stalls - the hairdresser does this to your hair Sympathy - the Bawlamer Sympathy Orchestra Race - a method of cooking meat; "Awl have a race beef sanrich." Tarred - sleepy Torst - a visitor from another state or country Vollince - what we see too much of in the movies Wald - the opposite of tame Warshnin - our nation's capital Wooder - what you wrench your hands with Yerp - Europe Zinc - where you wrench your hands or warsh your dishes Youz - you all
January 2013 - Happy New Year to all the Class of 1965. Our 50th High School Reunion date draws closer. We will let you know as soon as we have set a date. If you have changed your address or email address over the last few years, please send us the update. We continue to try to contact missing classmates and you can help. Please review the "missing list" and try to find a fellow classmate. Thanks for your help.
April 2012 -We are looking for volunteers to work on the reunion committee. Let us know if you want to get involved. It is so much fun getting together with "old" classmates. Send us an email or make a comment on our blog.
September 2010 - Welcome to our website! We are just getting started - let us know if you have any new ideas!
You’ve probably heard that an impromptu, 45th reunion of our class was held in September 2010 at Al’s Seafood in Essex. About fifty of our classmates attended. It was a great event ….. we all had a blast ….. no one wanted to leave ….. the management had to usher us out. The idea was to get a core group together to begin plans for our 50th reunion.
Our major task since has been to attempt to contact all 700+ of our classmates. Cindy Gagliano Hutson, Donna Lawson Croff, and Rachael Alexander Springer have worked tirelessly since September. They have gone through the class roster and have contacted about about 450 of the 700 in our graduating class.
Pictures: We will post photographs of our classmates. Try not to laugh at those "old people." You may find your picture there some day. Click on the "pictures" link at the top of the page to check it out.
Featured Stories: We all want to know what everyone is doing. Each month we will write about one of our classmates. Do you have something interesting to tell about yourself - let us know.
Missing: To continue our efforts, we need your help. Please go to the "Missing" link, and help us find these classmates.
Blog: Let's get a conversation going. Start the sentence with "remember when."
Deceased: Sadly, many of our classmates are deceased. Please click on the link "deceased." Hopefully you won't find your name there.
Contact Us: Please send us your thoughts and comments. Click on the "contact us" link or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org